Lust VS Attraction
One of the main issues that many people have today even in the church is identifying the difference between lust and affection. Often times, many Christians are scared to speak on this topic fearing how they would be judged by family, friends and other church members. This topic is often seen as taboo but it is essential to discuss the difference between lust vs attraction. Now let’s dive into it: what is the difference between lust vs attraction.
The main difference behind lust vs attraction is the main intention behind it. Are you pursuing another person for marriage or are you viewing them as just a sex object.
It is natural to have feelings towards the opposite sex as God naturally put those feelings inside of us. For instance, as a man it is natural to feel nervous, happy or have other feelings towards a woman especially a woman whom you may find physically attractive.
God put those feelings in you towards the opposite sex as there designed are designed for marriage and to bring forth children as God said be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28).
If you meet a person of the opposite sex and your main intention is seeking the Lord to see if this is your God ordained spouse and your long- term goal is marriage, this is not lust. Your main intentions is to get to know that person such as talking to them, going out to eat dinner at a restaurant such as Red Lobster or a walk in the park. Your courting that person as a potential spouse without committing sexual sin such as fornication or sexual immorality.
Lust on the other hand is based on sexualizing the other person as a sexual object and not viewing them as God’s creation made in his image. Lust plays on the part of getting a quick fix such as a one night stand and leaving that person afterwards. Sexual sins such as fornication or adultery don’t just happen without a person first lusting after another which starts in their mind and heart.
This is why Jesus said lust is equal to adultery of the heart as it plays on sexually objectifying a person and just being interested in their private parts.
“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”(Matthew 5:28).
This is why content such as pornography, onlyfans and various other sexual content is considered lust and sin. You may not be fornicating with that person in person but your lusting after them because your viewing them only in a sexual manner. Your not looking to get to know that person or courting them as a potential spouse . You just care about seeing their body parts and getting your quick pleasure in mentally or through physical acts of sexual immorality such as masturbation. It makes it even worse since your watching this content and your viewing their naked body parts highlighting the sexual objectification of the next person.
It is ok to have natural affection as God put it in us towards the opposite sex as it is used in marriage to produce children and to have a healthy sex life with your spouse.
“Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency” (1 Corinthians 7:5).
Every thing that God creates is good including natural affection however the enemy tries to pervert God’s creation and turn it into sin. Satan loves sins such as fornication, adultery, pornography because it perverts your mind and leads to eternal fire.
“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).
It is okay as a follower of Christ to experience different feelings when you see the opposite sex. Especially for the young Christians in their prime years such as late teens, 20’s and early 30’s whose sex drive can sometimes be high. However, do not sin and lust after that person.
Learn self control through fasting and prayer along with following the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Now under the direction of God when you meet a woman as a man or you meet a man as a woman, you court them under God’s direction. You ask the Holy Spirit if this is your ordained spouse. You get to know them without any sexual contact being made and within 6 months - year a proposal shall be made with plans to get married.
You restrict sexual contact before marriage such as
no hugging chest to chest sexually
no mouth to mouth kissing/ tongue kissing
No sleeping/ living together
No sexual feeling of body parts
You get to know the person and learn about their personality, their traits, dislikes/likes etc. You view the person as a human being made in God’s precious image and not as their body parts.
